"Numbers"

8, 13, 138 & 813

believe it or not, these are numbers that I always see, hear and have connected to me in someways. Most people, including myself, will also understand that here we observe a psychological phenomenon known as selective memory. Simply, it means I see crtain numbers because I want to see them, because perhaps they have been corelated to a particular event (eg. 813 was my dormatory room no. in HK, desk no. 13 was where I sat in my first job, 13/08 was the date I had my belly pierced, etc.) linked to certain important phases of my life, ignoring occurences of other numbers when they appear, and eliminating the chance of any other number to become "my" number.

Do we make our own reality?

2 days ago, I met up with some friends who have been living in Australia after college... and the last time we met up was some 4 years ago. Coincidentally, right after I return from my travels, one of them got in touch with me over MSN. So it was amazing for me, how they were still very much the same. Same goof, same loving and same fun. While exchanging some updates about our lives, I mentioned that it's strange I haven't bumped into "the rest of the other people" from college, considering that Singapore is a pretty small place. Well never say never, the next day I accompanied my sister to get some wine for our <>. And there at the wine cafe, I found one familiar face.
Connection or Coincidence? Coincidence.

Last night when I returned home, I got news about a friend who came down with viral infection of the brain and was admitted to the hospital. Apparently, we got some news that her condition had lapsed into comatose. When we went to visit her at the hospital this morning, it was comforting to know she has regained conciousness.

"Why?", was the question that kept me up all night. As much as I am aware, such situations are rare - "Unknown viral infection of the brain". But this is the 2nd time I've heard it happen to someone. First was a sister of a friend, and now a friend of my own.

In the lift ride up to the ward, I overheard a conversation reading out the bed number => bed 813. I was looking at lift buttons. There was 13 floors in this building. Destiny or Selective memory?
Unknown.

Last night before I went to bed, I was upset with a close friend over a present. She told me I didn't have to make her a present because she feels that since we are great friends, it was not important to spent too much time and effort on it. At the end it was a misunderstanding and I know she meant well, but I couldn't help feeling rejected, that it seemed she was not interested in the gift I was making for her.

Yes. Presents. What you think about giving presents. An obligation? Or a gesture of courtesy? Are you sincere? What do you think about receiving a present? How some presents and the person that gave them doesn't seem mean anything at the end of the day, and how some presents you will always remember and keep them close. And what it means to be appreciative? What if you dun like the present or it wasn't suitable? Are you going to be the honest friend? Or you will pretend to like it so everybody is happy? It's just a present eh? But it's becoming a big headache.

Last night I dreamt about my photographs from my travel. I have "cleverly" exchanged a Cannon digital camera for a Nikon manual camera. => before my flight, I carelessly left the cannon in Lithuania after I got drunk. Nikon was the beautiful present from Iggy. The pictures of London and Portugal from the Nikon have not been printed yet. So, it came up in the dream, that I had gotten them printed and was searching through all the photos looking for a picture which I wanted to send to Portugal. It continued that I didn't find it, and the rest of the pictures were all blurred. :(
well, in reality, I have got the negatives of the all the pictures, and most of the pictures in that roll of film look quite clear from the negatives.


I'd like to live everyday like there is magic... would it become delusional?
I'd like to remember everyday ... could it even be possible?