Sing to the Dawn

Finally learned to sing the song by Jolin, Dao Dai.

Always found it nice, never actually sung it til last mon'.

Haven't been to KTV for such a long time I dun remember the last KTV I went to. Monday @ KTV brought back memories of Hongkong and I've forgotten about singing altogether.

Too much drinking, seems to loose chunks of memory and get more absent minded these days. Also a perpetual numb, hung over feeling...

Or you could call it peace, just like the afterglow of smoking, the aftermess of drunkardness.

Some people believe that they will never loose themselves no matter how drunk they are. Some people fear that and stay sober. And most of the happy others would have lost at least one item of possession, left it somewhere, or kissed someone. And the feeling of waking up to a realisation, is what I appreciate, a moment of clarity, mixed with a splitting headache. (think we really could do without the headache)

Dancing in the Moonlight.

Was at my Grandma's place for a dinner. They call it the Dong Ji, End of winter dinner with family. (or that's at least the best I could with the translation)

everything usual, and normal. On my way back, my father, my mum and me took the taxi and was looking forward to get home to our comfort couch at home. The taxi lady was a woman, in her forty's. But you could still see the afterglow from her younger days...

they started toking, as always. I am amazed how out of 5 times I took a taxi with my dad in it, 5 times everytime, he'd chat with the driver in very intense conversation all the journey. this connection that they apparently left me out of.

They toked about their childhood, how life was so carefree and happy in the "Silat Road" days, in Kampong, how they'd jump into the canals for a swim. How life was so tough, so simple, and yet so lived in. Everybody in the neighbourhood knew each other. It wasn't a story of wealth and richness, no "atas" living. Yet every penny spent at the least of things were all worth the spending.

Now, I hardly know my neighbours. All doors are shut most of the time, either that or I am not at home.

My dad had recently recollect his younger days, the trauma of having lost both his parents in 2 consecutive years, and the heavy burden and responsibility of 8 other sibligs to take care of. Drama-Mama galore you must be thinking. But you know with the post war baby boom. This was the real situation of our parents' decade and era.

I can't help but question the only question, why then and why now. Why did the attitude, the experiences, the stories, differ so much, yet the path of life is similar and also very different. It's oxymoronic. It's life an nature, cyclic and linear all at once.

Pweef...

Love, Bread and Soup

Someday, it feels that deep within is a longing for the ultimate person that is perfect, to appear in my life. This perfect guy/perfect feeling. Some people say it's a farce. Some continue to believe in it and have repeatedly fallen in and out of it... and then recover to get in all over again... well I don't know much.

I've also felt this perfect feeling with certain people before. With some friends, almost more than pefect. Hence if exprience defines our truth, then you can't really say the perfect situation to be a projection of non-reality. But we also know the very next truth that it always changes and nothing could ever stay the same, such that when finding, not only that one does not find, but also gets trapped in the endless search of what was merely an empty mould of the past.

Poison of Luxury

When did we learn that life was more than the flowers in the fields, smiling in the sun, and playing hide and seek. How did all the that suddenly transformed into monetary valuation of material possesions, status quo and endless shopping or acquiring just about any new thing.

New jeans, new top, new bag, more bags, more shoes, new furniture, salon visits, manicure visits... endless.

I admit to a mild desire for all these and I am definitely vain about myself, dying to be more beautiful. But this graceful aging isn't much more about the physical appearance, more like the "zen-ness" of the liking of peace within. Whatever the situation presents. Peace but not indifference.

But how can anybody almost tell the difference between the 2? I've felt both distinctively and also felt like I couldn't decide which of the 2 was to define correctly, what that I have felt.

Perhaps having stood still infront of Top Shop, watching people gooble down the highly priced but middle ranged apparell, put the contradiction of the imbalance of materialism and peace, right at where the glass panel separated the shop space and my mental space.

Life isn't free afterall dear old friends.. but I still think that it should be... feed the cows, they plough the fields, and keep the earth alive.

Free from the Poison of Luxury.

Pride and Prejudice

Just watched Pride and Prejudice the movie.. after every movie adapted from some book, I sometimes think why I've never read such a good book...

rich or famous or inteligent, they are somewhat statsu quo. defining, and seem to always decern what is appropriate or not.

well my recent encounter with Mr O. that swept me of my feet, not because he is handsome, nor intelligent, but for the fact he is so full of himself. Heh and so convince about money and it's poweress. "Money is option, and option is freedom" - so he puts it, and having to feed 12 kids with a miserable salary is torment, but I guess he doesn't appreciate the love of parents, that they rather feed them at their own torment, then sell them, or let them die...

Love. The rich and famous not only have a warp sense of money and worth, they also do not seem to comprehend love.

Not all of course. Just most of them...

I am going to Goa. Will I meet Sam again? deep inside, honestly, I hope to. Perhaps a romantic idea. Perhaps the simple openess.

I dream of Rome last night... can I deny the will of the sub-concious?

Romantic Pride and Prejudice, from liking, to misunderstanding, to insult, to the oppression of inferiority, to true love and passion. Shrek, to see beyond the surface; Lord of the ring, to fight the temptation of evil and power... what have we got here...

connection and fufilment...

Year End 2005

year end... what's the deal...

better year next year...

People from the past

Never expected to meet Vanessa or Cheok anywhere...

they were a part of my story just a couple months ago...

wat's the deal when people from the past revisit... those you don't have any relations, just aquaintances, just people who knew someone you knew.

too tired to actually condense / intepret anything.


I miss history.... the unique experiences, noone else share...

Wine and Cheeeese

It's lovely, wine and cheese.



Having an extended Sunday evening, and putting the blues away. I had set out to catch Harry, but as expected, the cinemas were packed and full. So plans changed, had dinner and shopping instead. I wasn't that much into shopping as with my other babes. Took a brief glance and decided it's enough.

Along Orchard Rd, there's currently an exhibition to promote development towards a sustainable earth. Beautiful pictures of places in the world that you can't even dream about. Captioned to highlight the very real problems this earth is facing. No cheesy go green rubbish, pure auturistic analysis and views. I got the same picture book for my birthday. I was excited to see it blown up and pasted along the streets. I hope everybody not just look at pretty pictures and think about holidays. Please if you could, read the caption and know what the picture is trying to present. (Yann Arthus-Bertrand ~ EARTH FROM ABOVE)

The earth is so beautiful you simply can't bear to hurt it. And the way I look at it, most people can appreciate mother nature for the very fact we are part of nature. Inevitably, we are nature's creation. This recognition probably is what draws us to it.

Yet I am also doubtful about conservation. Perhaps trying to preserve something, may be just more hindering than helpful. But we cannot allow the destruct we cause that's eminently indicative of the end.

So, it is important to understand our prorities and environmental's impact on us. As a human race, we depend on nature's resources for our very existence, and that to develop self-sustaining rejuvenation of these resources may just be our path to the higher evolvolution.

A Blogger's Blog

This Blog "Love Phi-Losophy" is not some moaning place for broken hearts nor ditsy love lorn stories.

This Blog is about ME. Me and I and Me. Phi Phi is the name.

And finally, it's all about loving me, loving phi, HOW to LOVE me, phi loving myself.

Cheers!

Food for thought

http://yumyumtime.blogspot.com/

Here's introducing the one and only, very mouth watering Blog. I'd say it beats any commercial site easily, in the efforts of promoting and introducing food culture of Singapore.

"*Crunch*"

8am-5.30pm Daily

working life is as u might figure.

just finished a week of holidays down at Koh Phi Phi. Beautiful place.

The Magic of Om

The Meaning of Om
"Before the beginning, the Brahman (absolute reality) was one and non-dual. It thought, "I am only one -- may I become many." This caused a vibration which eventually became sound, and this sound was Om. Creation itself was set in motion by the vibration of Om. The closest approach to Brahman is that first sound, Om. Thus, this sacred symbol has become emblematic of Brahman just as images are emblematic of material objects."

http://www.omsakthi.org/worship/mantra.html

Om, the first vibration, the sound encompassing the essence of the Universe.

I had previously draft a post, but lost it due to the very intelligent internet pulses. All I remember of it is the Om. I suppose it did helped me to write to the point and cut my other bullshit out.

Hear the Magic.

How much is that?

how much is THAT condominium, with private pool and gym membership?

how much is THAT car, 10L of petrol, that branded Smirnoff Eu de Toilette....

how much is THAT drink for a friend, a card of well wishes, and a Halloween party...

Can you give something that doesn't cost money?

Can you live without money?

Can you get more love with credit cards? Or just cash and carry...

Can you buy THAT life you want if you are already dead?

How much do you have to spend to be happy? How much is that smile?

Life is worth a life... and time is worth the existence.

Love Phi-Losophy

i've always felt a mental buzz in the head. nope i am not crazy. am pretty sure of that. but i do have days which i feel are bursting out of my head (days bursting out of the head, yep that's what i said) , and i think it's a matter of perception, a matter of me. what i've uniquely experienced and gathered of this universe, starts to accumulate and eventually burst or dissolve. questions answers and blanks... might you be mental too? i think everybody is mental.

for a first posting, I am not going to write about anything over working the cells. Had a hard day at work and my brain is pretty dead to do any serious thinking at this point. What I would do now is to introduce this book called Sophie's World, just check it out and let me know if you like it.




and on a personal note, I have a silly story, started to write it in attempt to glue together the characters and meanings they had in my life. another blog of mine.

The Persian Princess (see under links)