can love die

love can die

how do u stop urself from disappointment, if you pride urself in love.

what if something has died but we still hold on to loyalty.

who is the one to spend eternity with you, or at least feels like eternity when with you

or me.

how long do love last, if one chooses to keep silent, if one choses to be indifferent, if one forgets what is important in love

how to be yourself.

I am different.

Positive Equations

Positive input (+) gives Positive results (+)

Positive input (+) sometimes give Negative results(-)

Negative input (-) will only give negative results(-)

Positivity is the only promise to positive results

Why

why do we ask why? don't u ask anyway sometimes.

I am now taking a break from my day. Taking a break to blog, or blogging to take a break. Either works.

These days, I forget when I breathe, and I sometimes forget to breathe. Running around and calling a good number of numbers. At least that's almost what it feels like. Yet, it's never enough. You can always do more. You can always do more by waking up earlier, resting lesser in between calls, and well, you can always push and make the next limit even if you can't see.

Question is. Do I want to do it. Sometimes yes, sometimes I don't.

It's a question that goes in circles, up and down. The only reality and truth in the entire race is yourself. Yes we make our reality. What you want to do. Not what you want to achieve, but what you really commit yourself to doing. Because at the end achieving success is the result of what you chose to do everyday. And then success means nothing more than what you will be doing after you achieve success. If success means having to continue working, 9-5 everyday, hold endless meetings, daily meetings, have an impressive name card that must state your designation in the company behind your name and otherwise the card is worthless.

so much for an identity.

Do I want to do what I do everyday today. Yes. only because I know I don't have to do the same the next time when I get better in life. The concept of financial freedom has stuck hard and stuck well. And until I own my cafe and kitchen by the coast on some laid back island, here in Singapore City, financial freedom is the way.

This is my beat. Yet, many others move faster than me. More persistent than me, more hard working than me. It's not a competition. But don't u get jealous of people that have done the same and then done better?

And then suddenly, if you zoom out of Singapore like using Google Earth. You realise we are so small. And the reality here, is really, insignificant.

Which means, there are so many different paths in this vast universe, and then some say there is a parallel universe. Realities nested within realities. Daily life and living that is right here right now, becomes mediocre.

Eventually life has no meaning. No real meaning that is solid that you can grasp.

We are alive as much as u continue breathing. Everything else like a movie. I am paralyzed by such a thought.

Then again, life unfolds day to day. There have been instances of a beautiful day that I've lived feeling extra fulfilled, extra happy, and extra extra alive.

Unexplainable.

Why?

I Blog

I blog about my life, my love, my unhappiness, my depression. Hell actually who cares anyway? But I blog anyway...

It's true, this blog doesn't show all of me.. some of it I must hide. More often than not, it takes some effort not to whine about my dissappointments in life. Cos well, it's a blog, it's public, and many people read it. Well, my issues are probably just mindless buzz, only important to me. Others may be struggling with tougher fate.

Whining about things don't actually help at all. Infact, it can make things worse. We know this. However, if you ask me to look inside, there is a point right in between the pit bottom and, just before things get better. But it's not any better, and you can't even whine about it.

So I blog.

It's mid-Aug now. I've been back home since last december. Yes, last 8 months were start of many new beginnings. Coming home and coming to terms with myself to stay put in Singapore. To start afresh, plan the next few years and sort out the things I need to sort out. This is my home, my culture, my heartland, but I am like an alien at home.

I feel estranged from people around me. Just an unexplainable distant. There are many who are nice characters, but... No connection situation.

Then there are the "meanies"... needless to talk more about them...

I wonder if it's me, that I am that different. Or I chose to be different.

What about One love, what about coming together and feeling alright... What about the world in Love?

optimism and take the future

I spend most of my free time on internet. That's also why I blog quite a bit.

Then for an instance I thought that I've become a socially evasive internet geek. Nope. My best friend Yun would win that anytime. My BPB comes a close second.

But well, I realise it's because most of the friends that I talk to and hang out with are away or from overseas. Hm... Call me an attention seeking bee-aarch ("bitch"). My life here hence shrank into distance between home and work... the next good movie and a computer screen messenger party.

Yet even though communication over the internet is so deprived, I get the deepest insights from the people on the other end of the optic fiber.

hey dont speak about the past, lets take the future!
- Adomas

:) optimism is important!!!
- Tiago

lolololo... Ata iki... Ate ja!

It's all in the attitude...