Why

why do we ask why? don't u ask anyway sometimes.

I am now taking a break from my day. Taking a break to blog, or blogging to take a break. Either works.

These days, I forget when I breathe, and I sometimes forget to breathe. Running around and calling a good number of numbers. At least that's almost what it feels like. Yet, it's never enough. You can always do more. You can always do more by waking up earlier, resting lesser in between calls, and well, you can always push and make the next limit even if you can't see.

Question is. Do I want to do it. Sometimes yes, sometimes I don't.

It's a question that goes in circles, up and down. The only reality and truth in the entire race is yourself. Yes we make our reality. What you want to do. Not what you want to achieve, but what you really commit yourself to doing. Because at the end achieving success is the result of what you chose to do everyday. And then success means nothing more than what you will be doing after you achieve success. If success means having to continue working, 9-5 everyday, hold endless meetings, daily meetings, have an impressive name card that must state your designation in the company behind your name and otherwise the card is worthless.

so much for an identity.

Do I want to do what I do everyday today. Yes. only because I know I don't have to do the same the next time when I get better in life. The concept of financial freedom has stuck hard and stuck well. And until I own my cafe and kitchen by the coast on some laid back island, here in Singapore City, financial freedom is the way.

This is my beat. Yet, many others move faster than me. More persistent than me, more hard working than me. It's not a competition. But don't u get jealous of people that have done the same and then done better?

And then suddenly, if you zoom out of Singapore like using Google Earth. You realise we are so small. And the reality here, is really, insignificant.

Which means, there are so many different paths in this vast universe, and then some say there is a parallel universe. Realities nested within realities. Daily life and living that is right here right now, becomes mediocre.

Eventually life has no meaning. No real meaning that is solid that you can grasp.

We are alive as much as u continue breathing. Everything else like a movie. I am paralyzed by such a thought.

Then again, life unfolds day to day. There have been instances of a beautiful day that I've lived feeling extra fulfilled, extra happy, and extra extra alive.

Unexplainable.

Why?