Mother's Day is just round the corner! Check out Phi's Addiction's recommendation on Mum's Favourite Cakes. My mum loves the Pear Cake! =)
and the Carrot Cake...
and Tiramisu Cake!!!
hohoho *slurp*.. visit the website here www.tiramisucaravan.com
This morning I woke up. Tried very hard though, but I managed. I wonder how many more mornings like this I am willing to bear. Mornings that woke up to nothing. Nothing too exciting.
I've given up on work. Like totally. And I finally decided to allow myself to give it up, at least for now till the year is over. Now is the time to take time - for myself, for the soul and to prepare for next year. (Lest it become another year of "bad debt and poor performance" again like 2008. )
Counting my accomplishments in 2008, actually it really wasn't so bad.
For one, I actually set up my online dessert business selling Tiramisu, Cheeseballs and Carrot Cakes. Did up my own website, sorted out my menu and deliveries and managed consistent orders every month. Although doing this was quite a bit of hard work, and working through the night before Valentines' Day, in retrospect I felt like it was a breeze. Cos I totally enjoyed it, cos perhaps it was a hobby kind of thing. And above all, it was made entire with love.
Made it to Ang Khor Wat & Phnom Penh in March 08. Pretty much cool and a place that I've wanted to go always. Though it was sort of disappointing when my hope of having some sort of mysterious encounter in this ancient ruins was "ruined" with loads and loads of tourists, touting and more tourist. Still it was all good.
Diving trip no. 2 to Dayang! Fantastic visibility. Although it wasn't the best site, well, a dive is a dive.
My first time betting in the Casino in Genting Highlands. N Winning, N then getting conned by Chinese conman... brrr
Bought my first lot of Stock investment.
Met my beloved BiBi!!!
Did the Singapore "house viewing" thing.
and la di da di dah*...
I can't say it was a bad year for me, but it has left me highly undoubtedly dissatisfied with myself. Becos for one thing, and the most priced achievement was that I didn't do as well in my job.
A simple fact turned up. We almost always do well in your favorite subjects. For those we had to Ace just so we get into the job that PAYS BETTER, becomes a challenge and a drag eventually as we start to find less and less meaning in doing them.
I did use to like it, now I dunno. I've started to feel like I am wasting more time each day it wasn't turning out better. Time that I could have spent doing other things that gave me more happiness, purpose and fulfillment.
Question: how much more of those is needed to be done, and where am I headed with all this? next 10 years? or even just 5 years?
Answer: The longer I take, the more time I waste.
The more I try, and each time I didn't get the results I wanted, I started to felt less worthy. And the more my body life and mind was out of sync. I had diet problems, over eating, over sleeping, lack of zest, zest that I should jump out of bed every morning and smile widely to this world.
Precious time that won't return, we only live once.
I remember a "me" that was following her heart, doing the things that gave her life, things that made her feel alive.
Now, this heart is wavering and I feel torn between to sticking to it, or letting it go. Projecting everything into longer terms, i really can't see myself anywhere with it. Am I really going to be that Sales Super Woman?
This morning, I woke up to Agnes' diving pictures in Sipadan. And I finally woke up. I was feeling this quivering excitement through my guts, n I felt no need for food, not a slightest craving to munch. Yun calls this the "like u want to pee in ur pants".
I felt at peace with the excitement.
In a worldly sense, it's been hell on earth. The financial crisis and turmoil, people losing jobs, global economy slowing down tremendously, the Olympics torch run that put protests against China on international media, terrorist bombing in Mumbai, and, God only knows what's it gonna be with 2009.
with all these in perspective, all about "me" don't matter as much. However, finding my purpose is important.
As Bibi says it, having more money won't change the world, doing what we love will.
Bigger plans ahead in 2009, like a churning Phi's Addiction into full fledged business, visits to my friends in Portugal, Lithuania & Israel, giving out Cheeseballs to orphanages, Japan Solar Eclipse, Bibi & Bibi's new home, dive dive dive, sing sing sing, write a book, learn to paint, new additions to the menu, underground kitchen on Weekends, new directions and endless of experiences that make me pee in my pants.
Of course above all I love my bibi most :)
By the way, anybody knows what happened to the "LOVE" statue outside Fish & Co at the Glass House?
my bibi says i am his Best Friend. I've heard someone talked about people they love this way. "My gf? oh it's been amazing with her! We're best friends..."
This year i started to doubt so much about relationships with people, friends and families, i kinda forgot what it means to be best friends, or lovers, or what it means to be friends with differences, or even friends separate by distances and jet lags.
at some point in time this year, I didn't know anymore if my friends liked me enough. or if i was as important in their lives as they were in mine.
that they wanted even an extra moment just to stay up for chat, to tell each other how magical it has been for us friends to meet and getting to know each other.
just like good old times.
I've somehow forgotten what it was to have a F'ING good time with friends, or at a party meeting real people. not people who want to be seen, act cool, or hook up with girls. REAL PEOPLE. where have they gone to.
i think the the core inside me is a deep dark place that no one can understand. and when friends i thought could understand my depressiveness, i was wrong. even i didn't understand why i am so depressed.
i often wonder if am happy with where i am today? am i about to do what i am truly made for in this existence?
wat if i m a painter, an artist, or a dancer, n here i am trapped in the casino of life trying to play the money game. what if i am a writer n my task is to think and put my extremely imaginative mind down on pen and paper.
wat if at this point in my life i still have one last shot to do everything that i was not trained to do in school, but always thought about. only one shot what would u choose?
what if i was going to die tomorrow?
then, how could i discover what i was made for today?
After what was months of BRAIN freezing, or just uninspiring days shopping and hanging out in Market St. Meixin Food Court. I found a little breathe of oxygen eating CURRY.
Yesterday, I had my good dose of Masala, Dhal and Rice in little India. It was the eve of Deepavali. We gathered some friends and decided to soak ourselves in the festive mood, by having our fare dose of Indian Thali and Dosas at Madras New Woodlands... (Just opposite Komalas.) They served drinking water on the table. This is one thing I dun get when restaurants require u to buy bottled water or drinks.
I think it is good practice to acknowledge human dignity by serving drinking water with meals.
For those people who only know Komalas for Indian food, I sure hope you look deeper beyond flashy signs and bright colours. After all, the experience of any cuisine, is the full palette of taste, sight, smell, and also traditions and cultures that sink in deeper in ur neurons than "Fast Food".
This is why I HATE FAST FOOD.
It really seems like I am a fanatic about Indian culture, food and Saris. But that is definitely not what all this is about. It's not Indian, or Chinese or Thai or European. It is the richness, the intensity of being somewhere different, and having a mind trippin.
When everything you see and understand is not what it really represents. To a large extent, the order in little India and in my India experience is one that is not easily understood, and some people never get it. ;)
The crowd in what seems like a disorderly fashion, is only what is perceived by me. IT's a big mess. People overflowing from the shops, on the streets, on the roads. IF I was looking for the queue, I would be feeling terribly misplaced. However, when one soon realises that there is actually no order, and that the understood and accepted protocol is simply the mess that is, that our objective is to find a place for ourselves, and not EXPECTING space to be made for you, then you find actually a sense of calmness in it. If we looked around, everybody is pretty much ok with the crowd.
IT's not just being used to it. I can walk everyday in crowded orchard road and complain every single thing about it. "Why the jammed traffic, why people dun cycle instead of driving, why can't we have more places to go!"
IT's about the attitude of embracing.
IT's when Singaporeans start queuing and demanding order then CHAOS become intolerable.
IT's when we think a system is the answer to all our problems, we lose sight of opportunity and real meanings in life.
The point is to beat the system, break down all barriers and meet people face to face. We've set up walls to contain ourselves in righteousness and to separate ourselves from perceived danger. This separation is stifling. This identity needs to be burned.
We turned up at Prince of Wales on Dunlop Street for a quick beer before dinner. As we got nearer, there was an uncomfortable fence separating a small area outside the bar and the streets outside. And "kept" within the fences were beer, "ang-mo" travelers and a pool table.
It look like an animal enclosure to me. To make a sign outside "Protected Mammals Enclosure - Do not Feed" would have been pretty apt.
From the inside, the place is not run by Singaporean locals but white Caucasians. And as a matter of fact, the whole place looked like a concentrated white dot in little India. The sight was appalling. We as customers at the bar was fenced up, while the local residents and ethnic Indian walked along outside and looking inward.
Then I really wonder what all these traveling is about, to come to a new place and then gathering up in pubs and behind fences???
(by saying this, I seriously am not racist, but i dunno how else to put it. It wasn't a pretty sight, and I felt like tearing it all down.)
Each time when I talk about Indians, or visiting little India on Sundays. I get raised eyebrowns, questions about -
"what so fun" "so crowded" "so smelly" "i dun find it interesting to squeeze ard"... "why are you such an indian fanatic?"
OR even commenting "wah, u really into bollywood stuff ah, get an indian boyfriend la!"
guess what, u totally missed the point. :)
Betel Leaves Stand Outside Madras New Woodlands :)
Watching the rain...
guess i haven't sit to watch the rain in a really long time now... a very long many months, yet the time still passes, and I lose track of myself and the things i've done...
Yesterday a friend send me a text message. It was her birthday. Hah, so fast, birthday again. Next week, my best friend gonna leave town for Israel. To be with her bf... so fast again... she's leaving... it was already 6 months she was back... but all that's left of this 6 months after it has passed.. is this... today.
"Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, Thats why it's called the Present"
Many people say, live in the present. But i think I am too much in the present, that I sometimes forget to care, that what I did yesterday makes today, and what I make of today gives tomorrow.
Today is Friday, I am sitting by the window, watching the storm that's about to begin, the cold wind beating on my face, giving me a sharp cold touch on my face, yet it is cold because I am warm. An awakening chill that I can feel because I still breath.
I dunno how many people walking on the streets are but empty shells, facing practicalites of live, that u need to do this to get that and to have this. I have chosen an alternative path about things. Chosen to give myself liberty to do things that I like rather than just to be a money making machine, as much as possible.
Self-indulgence, some people call it.
Facing the same practicalities in life, I have also drifted through the crowded with a hollow shell.
But watching the storm, watching the setting sun and walking barefoot on grass, I feel alive.
I wonder if it is because there are lucky people who have simply found the fomula through life, or are able to accept life simply as it is; making me look like a lost philosopher, and somewhat an outcast on this side of the world.
Alienation
I wonder if I could be the only one.
I feel many unhappiness bottled inside, I want to scream! Yet, it's silent, as there is no reason, just bitterness.
I think up so much junk, it looks as if I love torturing myself. Misunderstood, and lack of real connection; the attention now is filled with judgement, critism and distrust.
Junk. Or is it?
Positive attention is very important to me. It is to everybody. yet in this world I am perceiving, there is so much lack of attention, and more like suffering from a deficiency in it. without enough nods affirming what I do, who I am, what I like. Just some signs to tell me I am ok, that I am on the right path, doing the right things, being the right person,... (u know...)
some real loving... plsssss...?
some experiences make me feel all so so good, and some times my closest friends make me fall flat on my face.then everything crushes, like u stepping on the garden snail (accidentally).
Lucky there's Cen.
I like to be part of, not excluded. Or maybe I excluded myself. I don't like to be the extra, odd one. Or maybe, I'm just thinking that. Funny me.
Maybe I am just different, from another planet, and most people dun understand me. I dun understand most people also.
I find no comfort in the silence but fear being abandoned, fear of being left out. It's dark and depressed.
I dun mean to torture myself. but I sometimes doubt if you like who I am, and I dun wish to be deluded.
this is it, I am going to blog my life away. spending time writing down meaningless thoughts, spending more time thinking about what I should be or could be doing better with this mediocre life of mine.
this is it. this time I am going to be brutally honest with u and with myself.
Yes it's true, with all the good things in the world given to me, a good complete family, good friends that love me, a home where there are surplus in food, money, material, a city where people have money to spend just because they are bored of working; where people have the ability to spend on better things in life to treat themselves better;
- I actually feel dull and depressed in this city "God" dropped my soul upon.
Last night on television was a documentary featuring suicidal tendencies in singapore. I watched intently, and listened to what these people had to confess about their suicidal thoughts, in hope to find a light to my darkness.
No, I do not feel like killing myself, just that not feeling alive can't get me anywhere better. So I listened.
The consistent pattern that ran through each individual, was clear. There was nothing more in life for them, that they believed they could be better off dead than dealing with problems of heart break, abandonment, survival, lack of love.
They also observed that most people whom have escape the thoughts of suicide, upon good guidance and recovery, tend to come back stronger alive than before.
---
there was not direct answer to me after the show had ended, just a bland conclusion that everybody has their problems, and there are millions of starving children in this world; that food is wasted into our trash bins everynight on the contrary. No, dear chinese people, finishing up what you have on ur plate is not helping at all!
The world we live in is surely not a perfect world. It must not me. Man have tried hard enough and sacrificed many in pursuit of idealistic systems and belief of creating a flawless perfect world. This we have seen resulting in wars, cruel regiments, and will never work.
Because one man's ideals, maybe another man's nightmare.
---
I don't know what to do with myself. I've constantly tried to accept and do what would seemingly work best for me. 1 year in a 9-5 job. Everybody told me i'll get use to "working life". Fact is I didn't, I had woken up every morning that year, dreading to wake up. And by the time everything started to flow pass like a normal day, I kept myself alive and preserve my mind from jadedness by asking, can all this get any better?
And when it came down to the ultimatum question, how long more is this going to last? I realise, there's no way i am going to live another day this way.
I took off with the little savings I had, in search of life and in search of my soul. In my travels, I've had many revelations, and beautiful experiences that have done me good. Lessons about love and life and living. Came back recharged, only to have all the inspirations fading into memories.
Somehow, I ended up feeling lost and burnt out, trying to find myself in here. I am here but I feel soul-less. God knows what I should or could be doing better with myself. I don't know what I should be doing with myself.
I am tired of not knowing what to do.
...everytime I listen to trance or techno, my heart never fails to pump. Always, I feel my heart racing to the beat, and the senses overflowing with adrenaline.
Looking forward yet to another music revolution, cool dJ spins, psychedelic trance parties, the next solar eclipse gatherings...
I can hardly explain an experience in these parties... unless u feel it for urself... depicting such a scene would be most unhelpful.
wooohoo... hehe the pure thought of it gives me enough energy to start dancing for hours in my little room now...
this is music for me. what about u?
我从来没有对什么人这么冷漠过. 一直以来都相信人生里要有爱和宽容. 我想这个"他"真的伤了我好深. 是我对"他"的怨恨不能平浮.
其实每个人, 都有曾经伤害过其他人. 我不例外, 也不分谁对谁错.
最近, 有人对我说:
"早上起来问的, 不是为什么, 而应该是问怎么办. 过去要放下, 最重要是以后的日子要怎么过."
谢谢你傻瓜, 我明白. 我也是傻瓜.
Changes! New Link @.....www.tiramisucaravan.com
highly recommended to check out the new link on your right.
Featuring:
Phi's Addiction - The Tiramisu Caravan
Phi Phi’s™ original Tiramisu is now available.
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Hello all. whoever and wherever u are, reading this. Here are my heartfelt season's greetings to all you sweeties.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
This year I'll be spending Christmas eve at home with myself (and also toilet training Rhumby the Pug which has been staying in my house for the last week)
Spending Christmas eve alone isn't all that lonely a thing afterall. Most of my friends have gone overseas, so there isn't anything planned for the evening. I guess it can be a positive decision to want to spend some special time alone as well.
It may sound too much of solitude for many people, but since i've never done anything like this before, I thought it may be an experience worth a shot. So I didn't try to plan anything more.
However, today I have a bigger task at hand. Toilet training the Pug. It's about 4 years old and it had been toilet trained in the previous home. But since it moved to my place, he had been doing it outside which is good, but it also shit and pee-ed in the house. I've been trying to train it to use the toilet at home. but everytime we walk in there, it doesn't do anything but wait for the door to open and to get out.
Right now he's leashed to me, and everytime he tries to get my attention, I'll just bring it to the bathroom, or if it tries to relieve himself, then at least I can stop him in time and then bring him to the bathroom.
Argh... wished there was an easier way.
**
;) check out his arrogant face
Every girl has a dream. I have one to. Call me a helpless romantic or emo-bitch, either works. Like a simple girl, I like to share, love and be loved.
No, this isn't about BGR, a timeless debate about what women want and what keeps the men ogling. Or for that matter, why 50% of the time, people out grow each other and relationships simply expired.
This is about simple love. To share and to love. Friends, Family, Pets, Strangers. A sort of wordless simplicity, imagine a fuzzy white glow around everything, and a smile with peace and tranquility. Everything in Enlightened state. Even the tables and chairs.
Starting to sound unreal? It's a perspective. Perspective is as real as anything you and I see can mean for you or me.
What's the point? Why are there so many books on self help, self motivation, spiritually, pursuing happiness, pursuing success? Why is Man constantly striving to transcend this picture of struggle, unhappiness, lack of success, lack of money. We read books A - Z, to find an answer. Some books are great, we recommend it, some are too abstract and our minds are not ready.
What's the point, everybody has something to say anyway, right or wrong.
What's the point, in getting angry, jealous, irritated, frustrated, sad, when all these are self inflicted feelings and reaction. I can't feel what somebody else is feeling. Not exactly, I feel for everything through my own perception.
But we all feel so anyway, and we also sometimes the cause of other people's anger, hurt and frustration.
Wouldn't it be nice, if everyone was enlightened, to see past themselves and to stop blaming others? And just to share a simple love.
Tuesday, today, I lay on my bed for hours after hours. Just thinking.
Thinking how, why, who, what, if and dreaming about when.
I am not giving up, but I found myself stuck in a pit, don't know how to get out, can't really see what's outside.
So there is only me and myself to think things through. To find the answers to gather my confidence to stay alive.
There's help from somewhere, I hear an echo. Should I follow or should I stay and think somemore. I look around me, lo and behold I found a spade sitting here beside me. I had dug this pit for myself.
The echo shouts louder now, but only to save me, I'll have to leave myself behind in the pit.
I explained to myself, that I was digging a tunnel to a beautiful place. Now that I've lost the map and compass, I just need to ask myself which direction to dig more.
I wanted to know that I was right. I didn't want to chose the easy way and depend on help, leaving myself behind.
After hours, I am still thinking if I should continue to dig the tunnel. Or just listen to help.
Soon, I started to get comfortable with myself and in the pit. I got used to the darkness, and everything seems normal. Normal to be actually in a pit.
Once in a while, help tells me about the beautiful scenery and fresh air outside. That I should experience and love. But to have all that, I'd would need to climb and forget about myself. I would need to change my plans and forget about digging the tunnel.
I ask myself, why am I digging the tunnel?
It was so that I can do it by myself.
***
Help says, actually it's the same place we are going to. Same beautiful. This way is just easier, brighter and everybody has gone through this way.
Why do I dig the tunnel by myself?
No-one knows.
Where?
In the tunnel.
***
If I go, I'll never know about the tunnel. If it can be completed by myself.
Maybe it doesn't matter, I thought. Same happy place. I can have others besides myself.
But, I couldn't decide. I wanted to get out, but I was afraid to leave myself behind. And I wanted to know if it can be completed by myself.
No-one knows the tunnel.
***
Last of all, I was afraid that I would chose to be by myself. Can I trust no-one?
love can die
how do u stop urself from disappointment, if you pride urself in love.
what if something has died but we still hold on to loyalty.
who is the one to spend eternity with you, or at least feels like eternity when with you
or me.
how long do love last, if one chooses to keep silent, if one choses to be indifferent, if one forgets what is important in love
how to be yourself.
I am different.
Positive input (+) gives Positive results (+)
Positive input (+) sometimes give Negative results(-)
Negative input (-) will only give negative results(-)
Positivity is the only promise to positive results
why do we ask why? don't u ask anyway sometimes.
I am now taking a break from my day. Taking a break to blog, or blogging to take a break. Either works.
These days, I forget when I breathe, and I sometimes forget to breathe. Running around and calling a good number of numbers. At least that's almost what it feels like. Yet, it's never enough. You can always do more. You can always do more by waking up earlier, resting lesser in between calls, and well, you can always push and make the next limit even if you can't see.
Question is. Do I want to do it. Sometimes yes, sometimes I don't.
It's a question that goes in circles, up and down. The only reality and truth in the entire race is yourself. Yes we make our reality. What you want to do. Not what you want to achieve, but what you really commit yourself to doing. Because at the end achieving success is the result of what you chose to do everyday. And then success means nothing more than what you will be doing after you achieve success. If success means having to continue working, 9-5 everyday, hold endless meetings, daily meetings, have an impressive name card that must state your designation in the company behind your name and otherwise the card is worthless.
so much for an identity.
Do I want to do what I do everyday today. Yes. only because I know I don't have to do the same the next time when I get better in life. The concept of financial freedom has stuck hard and stuck well. And until I own my cafe and kitchen by the coast on some laid back island, here in Singapore City, financial freedom is the way.
This is my beat. Yet, many others move faster than me. More persistent than me, more hard working than me. It's not a competition. But don't u get jealous of people that have done the same and then done better?
And then suddenly, if you zoom out of Singapore like using Google Earth. You realise we are so small. And the reality here, is really, insignificant.
Which means, there are so many different paths in this vast universe, and then some say there is a parallel universe. Realities nested within realities. Daily life and living that is right here right now, becomes mediocre.
Eventually life has no meaning. No real meaning that is solid that you can grasp.
We are alive as much as u continue breathing. Everything else like a movie. I am paralyzed by such a thought.
Then again, life unfolds day to day. There have been instances of a beautiful day that I've lived feeling extra fulfilled, extra happy, and extra extra alive.
Unexplainable.
Why?
I blog about my life, my love, my unhappiness, my depression. Hell actually who cares anyway? But I blog anyway...
It's true, this blog doesn't show all of me.. some of it I must hide. More often than not, it takes some effort not to whine about my dissappointments in life. Cos well, it's a blog, it's public, and many people read it. Well, my issues are probably just mindless buzz, only important to me. Others may be struggling with tougher fate.
Whining about things don't actually help at all. Infact, it can make things worse. We know this. However, if you ask me to look inside, there is a point right in between the pit bottom and, just before things get better. But it's not any better, and you can't even whine about it.
So I blog.
It's mid-Aug now. I've been back home since last december. Yes, last 8 months were start of many new beginnings. Coming home and coming to terms with myself to stay put in Singapore. To start afresh, plan the next few years and sort out the things I need to sort out. This is my home, my culture, my heartland, but I am like an alien at home.
I feel estranged from people around me. Just an unexplainable distant. There are many who are nice characters, but... No connection situation.
Then there are the "meanies"... needless to talk more about them...
I wonder if it's me, that I am that different. Or I chose to be different.
What about One love, what about coming together and feeling alright... What about the world in Love?
I spend most of my free time on internet. That's also why I blog quite a bit.
Then for an instance I thought that I've become a socially evasive internet geek. Nope. My best friend Yun would win that anytime. My BPB comes a close second.
But well, I realise it's because most of the friends that I talk to and hang out with are away or from overseas. Hm... Call me an attention seeking bee-aarch ("bitch"). My life here hence shrank into distance between home and work... the next good movie and a computer screen messenger party.
Yet even though communication over the internet is so deprived, I get the deepest insights from the people on the other end of the optic fiber.
hey dont speak about the past, lets take the future!
- Adomas
:) optimism is important!!!
- Tiago
lolololo... Ata iki... Ate ja!
It's all in the attitude...
Always when I travel in the MRT (mass rapid transit), my mind is consumed with thoughts about the people standing around me. Each cabin is easily filled with 50 people. That's quite a good sample mass in such a small space. Sometimes I feel intruded with these people standing so near by. Maybe because I don't want to get too close.
Not just the bitching about latest fashion hots nor fashion victims. But thoughts about life.
Thoughts about what these people might be thinking, how they are happy the way they are, how maybe they are jaded, how they found light and acceptance, how they managed to work it all out.
By thinking so much, it's starting to look like the mass population are more enlightened about life and living, in this bustling city of Singapore. And I start to feel ignored of my endless chatter and mental buzz about what's real and what's not.
Call me a new age sentimentalist, or a lost philosopher.
It is true that some questions have no answer. Then it becomes meaningless to think about them. And because they have no answer, there is also no end to the debate.
- Can't stop thinking about them.
Need some space... we could have parties, food, drinks, a place to hang out...
then... Rental is Crazy in Singapore!! In the suburbs neighbourhood, is coming to SGD2,000 - 3 rooms maybe?
I can't seem to find space for myself here. I just barely survive with a minimal breathe of air, everything seems so congested.
Was there ever a time where you wished there was a God behind everything, a God to save your day, a God that will have the power to heal and show you the way, a God that can make everything nice and beautiful for you?
And... All that you'll need to say, is that you believe there is one.
I did. Today, I asked if there's a God, and if so, wouldn't it be easy to reverse the day and fill it with happiness. Today I met with an unbelievable experience in work. Whatever I presented to him as facts, he didn't believe any bit of it. Worst part of it, he thought I was lying through my teeth and even asked me out right if I did.
Trust. I hate it when anyone undermines me in distrust. If I had lied all that, then I must be Divine.
Truth is, there isn't a "God" that's gonna whip up a hot cocoa, topped with whipped cream and a wafer biscuit topped with more whipped cream. Mums do that. And there isn't a "God", that will magically transform a seemingly tough day into one with smiles. Nope, Harry Potter can't do that either.
Truth is, your day isn't gonna be any better, if you just sit, complain to your "God" in a prayer and then do nothing to help youself.
Help isn't help, if you dun want to help yourself.
Faith or Religion, Philosophy, Sharmanism, Paganism, Cults. They only help you help yourself, in the way you chose to believe.
The "God" that really is, would be how the world can magically connect one to another. How life is always happening, every moment is different from the next. How your mum makes you your favourite dish. How spending time with your closest friends put a smile on your face. How your boyfriend lets you choose your sandwich the way you like it, even when he's sharing it with you. How you choose to be, the person you are in everyday.
"God" is a fiction of our imagination. Or, "God" is you, me and the Universe.
